A Different Kind of Destiny
by Kata
Summary: What were Maria's thoughts when Michael came to her in "Independance Day"?


Title: A Different Kind of Destiny

Author: Kata 

E-mail: Katayla@juno.com

Disclaimer: Roswell doesn't, and never will, belong to me. The song is "Crash and Burn" and it belongs to Savage Garden.

Rating: PG

Summary: What did Maria think when Michael came to her that night in "Independence Day"?

Author's Notes: This is one of those fics that I really liked, but I didn't get much feedback on. *shrugs* Let me know what you think.

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What does it mean that Michael came to me? Not Isabel, not Max, but me, his "ex." It was me he broke down in front of, and it is my bed he now shares. I don't know why he came or why he cried. It doesn't really matter. All it matters is that he knows I'll always be there for him.

When you feel all alone

And the world has turned its back on you

Give me a moment to tame your wild wild heart

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you

It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold

When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't

take anymore

I thought I had lost him. I knew he didn't hate me anymore, but he kept pulling back, hiding himself from me. I've only seen glimpses of the true Michael, and I have a feeling I've seen more than anyone else has. He's seen more of me than anyone else ever have, ever will. I've surrendered myself totally to him. I think if I had come here for what I thought he had, I would have given it to him. He's that important to me.

Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly with you away into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone

My destiny has always been tied up with Michael. I think I knew that from the very first time I saw him. For years he was in the background, always separate from the rest of us, always watching. I wanted to know him, but I was scared to approach him. Finally, fate threw us together. I was never a believer in fate or destiny or anything like that before, but what other explanation do you have for me and Michael? We're so different, and yet, down at the very cores of our beings, so alike. We feel like we have to be the strong ones, never letting anyone see our tears, or even to suspect that Michael Guerin and Maria DeLuca aren't the superhumans they appear to be. We both try to act as if we don't care about anyone, hiding our feelings from everyone, even ourselves, and yet, paradoxically, never quite managing to fool each other.

When you feel all alone

And a loyal friend is hard to find

You're caught in a one way street

With the monsters in your head

When hopes and dreams are far away and

You feel like you can't face the day

I don't think Max or Isabel, with their perfect families, perfect lives, could ever quite understand Michael. Roswell is everything to them. To Michael, it's just a prison. Liz never understood either. She's never stayed up crying for a father who never came, or for a mother who spent too many nights with too many of the wrong guys. But Michael... he understood... he knows why I can't always smile and pretend everything's okay.

Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone

He drew away from me, and I know why. I got too close to him, somehow squirmed my way into his heart, past that stonewall of his. I went past his defenses to where he was vulnerable, where he never let anyone before. He didn't know that it went both ways. It was too late too break it off without hurting anyone. Both of us opened up in a way we never had before, and that part of our hearts will never be the same again. We loved-- yes, loved, though we may never admit it to each other-- and can't, quite, build the same rock- solid shields against emotion that we had before.

Because there has always been heartache and pain

and when it's over you'll breathe again

You'll breathe again

I don't know if this night means anything. Am I just a pair of comforting arms? Fullfilling a position anyone could have? No, it's more than that. He knew I wouldn't turn him away, and he knew I'd understand if I was just this night. Tonight we belong to each other more than if we had sex with each other. I think tears have a significance all of their own, especially if they're shed by someone who never cries. Because I cried, too. I've never cried in front of anyone before, but Michael's tears got to me. Someone hurt him, and what hurts him, hurts me.

When you feel all alone

And the world has turned its back to you

Give me a moment please

To tame your wild wild heart

He may never speak of this night, but I'll always remember. Everytime it rains, everytime I cry, I'll remember, and think of him. I never asked for forever, but at least I'll have tonight. At least, I'll know he still cares. And more importantly, he'll know that I still care. Will always care.

Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone

He's not alone. He'll never be alone again. No matter where he goes, no matter what happens, a piece of him belongs to me now, and, whether he wants it or not, a piece of me belongs to him. I don't know what the future holds, whether we'll truly be able to be together again, but we will always have that connection. Because Michael Guerin is the only one I'll ever be able to truly love. Even if other men come, they will never, ever, be able to measure up to Michael. We were destined to love each other.

End


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